#22: How to Navigate Visits with Challenging Parents

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When you’re back in your childhood home, but you’re no longer the child you used to be.
You’ve done the inner work. You’ve slowed down, softened your edges, unhooked from the perfectionism and built a new kind of life – only to walk back into your parents’ house and feel like you’re 18 again. The jabs land harder. The comments pile up. And suddenly you’re snapping, shutting down or silently seething.

Sound familiar?

In this deeply honest episode, Tom and I unpack our most challenging visit yet to my parents’ house and the surprising ways it strained not just us individually, but our marriage. From managing two kids under 3 in a house where "making a mess" isn’t allowed, to unsolicited comments about our life choices (think: “lazy people order groceries”), to the constant hum of negativity and news, we found ourselves holding our breath – until we didn’t.

But we’re not here to vent. We’re here to name the patterns, process the tension and get intentional about what we do next and how we show up on purpose. 

You’ll hear what shifted for us, the exact moments that pushed our buttons, the real reason this visit felt so different and the practical strategies we’re now committed to as a couple. Including one you’ve probably never heard of (hint: it involves energetic cloaking 😏).

We know what it’s like to straddle generations, rewrite family dynamics and desire a real connection with the people who raised us — even when it’s hard.

If you’ve ever left a visit with your parents feeling angry, misunderstood or like you’re carrying the critical voice home with you… this one’s for you.

Have a question you’d like us to answer? Email it to [email protected] and we’ll answer it anonymously 

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